Sometimes, the spring is wonderful.
Overflowing rivers, 
as if washing away all the dirt
before the big bloom.

and yet sometimes , 
all it does is wash the dirt ashore

I wont whine this time.
I have made up my mind,
sure as hell 
i wish i didnt feel that way.
Its all i have got.

the next time i crumble apart i 
im not sure i can build myself up again.
so , I 
I suppose im just letting this pain go.
Stop thinking.
And be an empty shell for a while.
until my heart stops beathing in the right rythm 
and my mind is more thn just an empty page.

Right now im 
dissapointed
lost and hurt.

like always 
ha ha ha

this time , 
i wont let it drop me down below tho.

sure does mean lotsa changes .