Jus so i wouldnt forget the damn song lol

I have tried to figure it out 

for a long long time

what would they feel if i died

what if i was not here

i keep asking

do i have to ?

live for something 

i do not wish to

but each of those smiles

is so so precious

how could i just go

So i must keep going on,

Im still The girl.

Living her life as difficult as possible.

Always  up to something. 

Im always scared , but

i have to be strong

I cant cry.

So i just reschedule my cryings , 

for when i have time to.

Im always on the verge of breaking apart

I never do.

If i were to , i wouldnt be me

I feel weak

prolly cause of the fever and shit 

but 

either way I am weak

and thats fucking awsome.

I dont even look like me anymore

and suprisingly i dont really care

I wont die.

I will always be in your mind, 

fucking with you

your toughts 

and everything 

you smell 

see 

or hear.

In your sleep i will crawl 

crawl into you toughts , 

slowly slowly

driving you insane

But all that mindfuck 

is so much easier alive

so if i ever die

pretend i was never here 

just move on 

Be fucking happiest you have ever been

cause 

if i ever were to die

id be holding my thumbs hoping

you would always be happy 

and lucky 

and do all the things

we didnt have the time for.