At some point i must have made a deal with the devil.
Or so it seems.
Why else would i be so darn sad all the time.
I dont even have a reason to be sad.
I just feel really really sad
with no reason.
So whenever im alone I cry.
And whn im not alone
I try not to cry.
My soul is in pain.
I feel really really lonely
I suppose i always have.
Cause i have never been able to
put my pain into words.
So i cant expect anyone to understand me.
I dont have words to explain this.
I dont know why im just sitting and crying .
Im not thinking about anything.
i have no emotions.
Im just crying.
 On days like this
id just want to get drunk and do whatever
to keep my mind off of this
nothing.

Makes me feel really really small
and worthless.

I dont pity myself,
theres no reason to do that.

I just wish i was never born.

All i do is hurt the people
i love the most with  emotions like this.
I cant even do shit about it.
Im not that strong to keep pretending im fine forever.

Thats okay tho..
Im already broken.
Its not like i can break any further.

I wont apologize.
Cause i cant help feeling like this.

You are my only happyness,
The only one who makes me feel warm
and safe.
For you can smile with my whole heart.
I really really love You.
I hope you know that.

Maybe its not such a bad thing
to have been born
to be alive afterall.
Otherwise , .
I wouldnt have you by my side.
I can survive anything
with you by my side.