rewinded

Sometimes i feel like ,
life simply goes in loops.
somehow after some time ,
i end up with the same feelings.
situations and life are so different
but emotions, toughts .
in the end its like a broken tape
that keeps playing the same song.

im so stuck on who i have to be
that i dont even remember who i am.

Well i suppose
I have always in reality been the girl
who cries the most
lies the most
worries the most
whines the most
the most stupid one.

not the

whatever what people seem to think
well atleast until they get to  know me.

I even whine about myself whining.
really bleh.

even so im actually a quite lucky and a happy person.
I just seem to compress too much negative emotions into packages that explode.
while i give all the happy stuff in me away.