I want to,

Gahh i want to ask so many things.
I want to know,
I dont understand anything right now.
But i do know 2 things,
1. Asking one question would create 1000 more.
2.I will know it all , once the time comes.


So , for the first time in my little worthless life,
Im waiting.
Just silently waiting.

I dont even know what im waiting for.


You prolly have like 10000000 questions you would like to ask yourself,
you too are just waiting.

For now, i will let it be.

-------------------------------


I had a dream, I was drowning.
Looking up from the crystal clear water up towards the
dazzling sky , I realized
 no matter how many times i look up, Its still
too dazzling for me.
Even if i tried reaching up to it or hide my eyes behind ny hand,
Its still too dazzling for me.

~nov 8 2009.

I dont really want to be left behind alone,
but i know i can survive it anyways.


You shoulnd judge me by my stupidity,
by my smile nor by what i do or say.
You shouldnt judge me at all.

~nov 10th 2009


Life is like a pack of sigarettes, you dont hesitate to smoke them
until you only have one left. Then ou stop for a moment and think if you should keep it for later, but the thing is, you can alwats buy a new pack of cigarettes but you cant buy a new life, and starting from a white blank page is impossible . there are already inkspots on it even if your too blind to notice em at first.

I must admit I am a sinking ship, but i cant sink.
On that ship there are people i must save before I sink.
And even if it was just me,
I do beleve
That i too deserve to be saved.

Its like one moment your here, the next one your gone.
Did you turn around the corner and dissapeared from my sight
or did you poof to a whole nother world?
Is there anyone who knows?
Cause my words cant reach you,
Even if i called your name,
I dont think youd hear me.

~15 nov 2009.

Im not really alone, I have never felt this alone tho.
So why is it that even tho there are so many people there is noone.
I just hate being alone...
All the time.

~16 nov 2009.



I still agree to em all ,
every tough written here,
I still feel the same. I do,